So. It seems to me that outlaw cultures benefit from having the power to speak to and influence more mainstream cultures, said influence then being our defense against attack and our method of creating a space for ourselves.
It seems to me that a group of powerless people people cannot expect to have their rights defended solely from outside sources. Unfortunately, Superman does not fly around the globe defending sexual freedom, although I have to say I’d love to see it if he did.
It seems to me that power comes when people listen.
Why do people listen?
Seriously. Think about that. Who do you listen to? Why do you listen to them? I don’t mean to use the word to imply just hearing another person’s words and then responding, using them as a springboard for your own thoughts. I mean the people you take the time to understand when they present a viewpoint that is not your own.
Who do I listen to? I listen to people I respect. Why do I listen to them? Because they’ve proven to me in the past that they deserve my respect.
Logical problem. Redefine the question: why do I start listening?
I start listening to people I find interesting, or who I see as potentially having characteristics I value. I like people who are articulate, smart, excited. Funny. Wise. I like people who talk about things I care about. Everybody’s got a different list of reasons they might start listening.
It seems to me that commonly (not always, but commonly) I listen to people who are similar to me. It seems to me that most of us do this.
So if I, for example, wanted to say something to people who are incredibly unlike me, how would I get them to start listening?
Why else do I start listening? Well, I start listening to people who already hold some kind of power. Academics come to mind. It seems to me that this is common practice as well. We give more power to the powerful.
Beauty is a kind of power; more attention is paid to beautiful people. Money is a kind of power; more attention is paid to the rich. Mainstream education is a kind of power; more attention is paid to the educated.
Yes, of course it sucks. In fact, that right there might be most of the reason our world is fucked over. A self-perpetuating cycle of power based on class, wherein class is defined by values that we do not agree with.
Eileen, what the hell are you talking about?
You know what sparked this weirdly rambling thought process? Susan Wright, media spokesperson for sexual rights, wore a suit jacket to Floating World, a situation potentially involving the press. That’s it. That’s all it was.
I wrote that I like blogging because it partially protects me from agism. I wrote that I like wearing business clothes because I get better service in stores. What this boils down to is that I like being able to control my appearance because it allows me to affect my own power. I have this one particular way to expand and contract my cultural footprint, the space I take up, the influence I have on others.
(That’s right, sorry. This post is going to end up being about fashion.)
At the beginning of Pirates of Silicon Valley, Steve Jobs is trying to get a bank loan. He goes to a bunch of different banks in grubby clothes and long hair, repeatedly failing to get his loan until the day he gets a haircut and wears a suit. Banks don’t like long hair.
As much as it sucks to say it, if I dyed my hair bright blue and started wearing my leather jacket everywhere I went, my mainstream cultural footprint would shrink. This gets handled differently by different people; most members of outlaw cultures choose to say, “Fuck it, lookism is bullshit and I have a right to wear what I want and be respected.” Which is true. Which is why sometimes I do wear my leather jacket, and maybe I will dye my hair blue.
In theory I should have just as much power no matter how I look, because in theory emphatic gestures sweeping aside stupid opinions work perfectly. But practically applied, emphatic gestures just keep failing me.
What I look like says something about me. Maybe it shouldn’t, but it does. “Don’t judge a book by its cover” is still a proverb because people are still doing it.
If I know I get more respect in a suit jacket, even if I think the reasons behind why the respect is being accorded are false and damaging to my community, do I wear the jacket?
Do I reject culture or subvert culture?
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“If I know I get more respect in a suit jacket, even if I think the reasons behind why the respect is being accorded are false and damaging to my community, do I wear the jacket? “:
I think this is also one of those “know your audience” moments. I would wear the jacket or not depending upon who I was trying to make my point to.
Steve Jobs did the same. He no longer wears suit jackets, of course, choosing his classic jeans and black T-Shirt, but that is because he has the power to change what that means. Instead of “slacker” it now means “innovator.”
You use cultural power to make your own, and once you have your own you do with it what you like. This is how cultural things change over time. Of course, the only people with any power to change something are the ones that know they are at the mercy of this kind of thing, hence Steve Jobs’s rather insightful remark, “Banks don’t like long hair.”
hence Steve Jobs’s rather insightful remark, “Banks don’t like long hair.”
I’m curious, did you include this in your comment specifically because I didn’t credit the quote?
What I look like says something about me.
Hmmm. I’d say it says less about you, and more about the culture and society in which you live.
But that’s okay, because none of us live in a vacuum. We trust well-dressed strangers because (we figure) if they care enough to go along with some cultural values, then they probably care enough to observe others less apparent than clothing.
Conversely, a budding entrepreneur who dresses in jeans and t-shirts does not inspire trust because (we figure) if he’s so willing to flaunt such simple cultural standards, then why would we trust him with money; especially (in the case of a bank) money that belongs to other people?
To me, this is one of those things that isn’t “fair” but with which I’ve long since learned to make peace.
In my past life I was a teacher and agism would infuriate me. Having an administrator tease and ask for my hall pass got old after the first week. But after the first year I was respected for my teaching ability. I am sure that whatever you want to say will be heard in time.
Hi Tom!
Hmmm. I’d say it says less about you, and more about the culture and society in which you live.
Both, actually.
I have pretty much made peace with this. At least, enough peace that I don’t get too, too steamed when I am told by my office that I’m not allowed to dye my hair an unnatural color. Or rather, enough peace to be okay with being quietly subversive, instead of loudly different. Sometimes.
Although the impression that a person who breaks visibly cultural standards will also necessarily break other, less visible ones, is the same kind of absolutist thought process as “if these rules don’t make sense, that means there are no rules.” Except in reverse order. Bad logic!
Patty -
Thanks. As long as it gets heard because I’m worth listening to, not because I’m older :).
I’m totally with you on the “quietly subversive” thing; it’s been one of my particular traits for years.
I’ve written elsewhere that I pierced my ear back in the late 70s, and from the reaction, you’d have thought I’d dyed my hair purple. I wasn’t making a statement, except in a very general sense that I wanted to be a little bit different. But I learned to take it out when I went to see bank managers, applied for jobs, etc., simply because at some point I found it easier to conform in order to get what I wanted. Sure, I wanted to be different, but if removing the earring for five minutes allowed me to get a car loan, then I’m good with that.
My (step)son is 26 and an aspiring musician. He’s still dressing like the 90s grunger, and while he gets gigs, I think he’d get more if he cleaned up a bit and stopped dressing like a teenager. While he bemoans the fact that he doesn’t get hired as much as he’d like, apparently it’s not enough motivation to change (or “sell out” as he calls it).
Except in reverse order. Bad logic!
Well, maybe not.
I own a small manufacturing business. When I hire somebody, I check some simple things: did they spell things correctly on the application? Did they present themselves professionally? Did they manage to get through the interview without a lot of swearing or making derogatory remarks?
Do all those mean that I’ve hired a good machinist? Of course not. They do, however, give me some confidence – via experience and history – that they can handle themselves in a high-pressure work environment.
I remember my amused surprise when I learned that dropping my voice low got me better service. Why couldn’t they be as nice when I said please?
I’m not much for externals but use what I can to get what I need. What else can you do in a world ruled by television and money.
Now if I only had better externals.
Tom -
Okay, maybe.
But what if you had a candidate who could spell correctly, present and articulate themselves professionally, but with blue hair?
See, I can spell, be articulate, deal with people, and present myself professionally. I have marketable skills, and I’m good at my job. But I can’t dye my hair back and forth as simply as taking out an earring.
(I’m stuck on the hair color thing recently, you’ll have to forgive me.)
Also, I would not use you as an example of unconscious prejudice. Just a general feeling I have.
Richard -
What I did not get into in this post, although I might attempt to revisit it at some point (very tricky topic) is the question of specific externals and the advantages therein.
I have a lot of advantages. A lot of them I was born with, or born into. And it’s very, very hard to talk about how I might use them, or how they might affect my life, without (frankly) sounding like a brat.
You mean like being attractive and smart? Smart may not seem like an external but it is in the right context. (Aside from giving you the ability to better use your externals. )
My boss thinks I should be wearing business clothes (a suit & tie) whenever I go to a construction site so that I get respect. I feel like I should wear something like jeans and a shirt, because I would like to look as not-out-of-place as possible.
At least, enough peace that I don’t get too, too steamed when I am told by my office that I’m not allowed to dye my hair an unnatural color.
Currently in major service mode: not putting the green streak back in my hair until Sunday evening. Not putting the green streak back in my hair until Sunday evening. Not putting …
He’s getting married on Sunday. If I show up with a green streak in my hair, in five years his mother will still be fuming about how I ruined his wedding.
Some things are becoming more acceptable in mainstrem culture. Look at tattoos, once only gotten by sailors and felons. Now there are tv shows about normal people getting them.
As for blue hair, if it is something you have always done, it is usually accepted as a personal quirk. If you suddenly change your hair color it is a shock, just as any sudden change in wardrobe would be.
I have blue hair :) It isn’t a problem at my work; otoh if I were interviewing again I’d probably dye it back to something normal.
(I also have an eyebrow piercing, which is in fact much more unobtrusive than you’d think – even my parents agree that this is true. I figure I can probably, when interviewing again, get away with one or the other, but not both…)
But yes, the way you present yourself does affect how you’re taken. I can get away with pretty much whatever I like looks & clothing-wise at my work primarily because I have respect from what I actually *do* there.
What I have discovered from the 3 yrs or so I’ve been dying my hair peculiar colours is that there are also ways around this. If I dress more soberly, or carry myself in particular ways, I can get past the hair colour. (It also helps that I live in a large city where such things aren’t as uncommon.)
The extent to which your *projection* of yourself – I mean, your internal choice of projection, not just the outward image you actually have – has an effect is really interesting. Give off confidence and you can get away with a hell of a lot.
Juliet-
I am fairly sure I could pass off blue hair with confidence and a nice wardrobe, in most situations. I have been dying my hair shades of red and orange for a long time (although it’s brown again now) and have always liked being able to carry off the juxtaposition between bright red hair and a nice business suit. But unfortunately, my current job has specifically said no. This, I find very silly.
I like seeing what I can get away with here. Long extravagant skirts and spiked hair, so far, have cause not a ripple.
And also, a lot of this chameleon-like adjustment of personal appearance just doesn’t work for me without confidence.
I have blue hair. For the most part I’m treated exactly the same, or more positively, than if it were brown. Of course, I’m not very positively perceived to begin with, being fat and all, and not likely to be seen in business suits and tailored clothes. But still.
It’s been an intersting experiment. I’d be very curious to hear from someone who was otherwise “normal” and then dyed their hair some fun color.
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