Comments on: A Remarkable Thing

By: Juliet

Juliet — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 11:41:31 +0000

For those who aren’t familiar with it, don’t *feel* it (as in, aren’t wired that way), and haven’t thought about it, kink *does* look pretty wrong. You’re hurting someone else – emotionally and physically – for fun, or you’re being hurt for fun. From the outside, that looks wrong, and it hits a lot of social buttons.

From the inside, as we all know, it’s More Complicated Than That. But not everyone is able to make that jump, even if they *do* think about it. (A comparison: my parents know I’m poly, and they understand that I’m not cheating & so on. They accept it (slightly reluctantly), but they don’t *understand* it, and they have a lot of social conditioning that says that it is wrong and weird and so on. I accept that I’m doing something that does not fit well in general societal norms, acceptable though it is within my social circles, and that the best my parents & I can manage is that slightly uneasy acceptance.)

Love is a good thing, yes.

By: Sod

Sod — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 17:21:47 +0000

“It’s not enough to say that things “just are” right or wrong and be content”
I say: “Just are” period. I believe these should not be qualified (right or wrong or any combo of the two.)
Such qualifications are valid ONLY when applied to one’s personal choices, or communal values which are based upon principles of peaceful, consensual co-existence. There’s more self awareness in striving, even fighting, to uphold your TRUE identity, to educate others of what is integral to what makes you, despite expressions of judgement, than in exerting ANY effort to change yourself in order fit into what others carved for you. Do that, and you are no longer the same, you are, for better or worse, SOMEONE ELSE! That too is your choice.

By: Eileen

Eileen — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 15:40:50 +0000

Alisa-

Reassured? I don’t know. More likely to be willing to work this out? Most definitely.

Sod-

I disagree. It’s not enough to say that things “just are” right or wrong and be content. That’s a weak position to debate, and shows no efforts at self-awareness.

By: Sod

Sod — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 10:11:10 +0000

“Why do they think kink is wrong? Why do I think kink is right?”

You are. What you call kink is just is. Many do not know it yet, and may never know, but you should consider that your DEFENSE, in fact ELICITS OFFENSE. Think about the dynamics you are familiar with…

Absolutely delicious entry.

By: Alisa

Alisa — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 09:26:19 +0000

I wasn’t really sure what to say or how to relate, but yes, coming from a place of love is infinitely better. Do you think that if the family member was speaking from love and scared for you she can be reassured?

There are a lot of splits in our community but I hope that when push comes to shove we take care of our own. I look forward to reading your blog should you decide to continue writing.

By: Maja

Maja — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 05:40:29 +0000

I’ve avoided commenting because I’m not sure I can say how happy these posts make me. It’s gotta be tough work – the writing itself, and all the wracking and debating that inevitably comes before it. Thank you thank you thank you for doing it.

By: Eileen

Eileen — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 03:08:59 +0000

Hi Victor,

Not yet. Bits of it; when I took it down there were almost 90 entries. I’m working on bringing them back up as I think more about what my plans are for the future.

Nick -
Thank you.

By: Nick Nichols

Nick Nichols — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 01:08:32 +0000

Eileen. You are a remarkable person. Take care … have fun … and keep writing if you can. Your writing is probably as important and helpful to many, many others as it is to yourself. Just MHO.

By: Victor

Victor — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 23:05:20 +0000

Am I correct in that the rest of the blog has returned from limbo?