A Place To Draw Blood Laughing

I’ve been feeling my way around my relationship with women’s spaces and my attraction to women lately. I recently took part in a 6-week discussion group at ACON, a great queer resource here in Sydney. It was the first time in my life I had identified primarily as same-sex attracted, instead of primarily kinky.

The group was a good experience. As I’ve said before, I often have to feel my way around relationships with women very carefully. Curiously, the strongest conclusion I’ve come to from being a part of the group is that I’m increasingly comfortable with being just a bit gender queer.

I wear ties these days and don’t have to reach up and adjust them every five minutes. My hair is in my eyes and I dress like a schoolboy. Sometimes May presses his body into me, I wrap my arms around his slender waist tightly, and we kiss with his head tilted backward while I stand straight and strong. I love it. It makes me feel romantic and powerful.

The other thing conclusions I’ve reached is that I really want a girlfriend. I hadn’t expected that. I don’t know how to handle that desire just yet.