A Place To Draw Blood Laughing

Last night I sat at my friend’s computer while she put Carnivale in her DVD player, and Indian food cooled next to a chair I had just been sitting in. And I thought about my need to post in this blog. She won. I put the laptop away.

Writing this 50/50 challenge has made me redefine many aspects of my relationship with this blog. One of my resolutions when I began was that I would never apologize to this space if I didn’t have the time or willlingness to post in it. I’ve had variable sucess with that decision, because I’ve grown attached to the people and the attitudes to be found within the ever-expanding ring of blogs I read. But at the same time, I’m not happy when obliged to post. And that’s clearly evident, because I’ve technically missed my goal by a day. I can’t really bring myself to worry over that, and I think that’s the way it should be.

The other thing the 50/50 challenge forced me to redefine was the purpose of this blog on a post-to-post basis. I’ve always tried to write when I have something to say, and to other wise keep mum. And I never intended to make this a personal blog in the way many of us think of personal blogs: a chronicle of my life on a daily, detailed level that I cannot convince myself anyone actually cares about. But I don’t always have something to say, especially within the narrow window I allow this blog to reach. I keep huge portions of my life off the radar here. I’ve had to resist drawing on those topics over the last 50 days, looking for something more to give.

And the final redefinition is the art. That was a surprise even to me, because I’ve never taken my digital art public via a blog. But now that it’s happened, I’m enjoying the transition, and I’m enjoying the every-once-and-a-while change. So the art will stay. And with that decision in hand, a CafePress store is in the works, should any of you care for physical representations of digital art.

I probably won’t do this again. But then, never say never. Change is ongoing, and never outgrown.