Comments on: The Components Of A Lifestyle

By: Dw3t-Hthr

Dw3t-Hthr — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 06:48:15 +0000

I was going to have a rantlet about why I dislike the word "lifestyle", which is mostly what Maja said, but I might as well link to where I had it last year and save time. ;)

By: sera

sera — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:05:04 +0000

Uh, it’s too early in my personal morning for me to comment on this appropriately or intelligently, but I really like it.

The longer I go on the more interested I get in shaking off the societal stuff that says BDSM folks should/must hide. At the same time, I’m not part of a BDSM community where I live most of the time (I am part of one where my long-distance partner is, but . . .) so that mostly ends up meaning “out anonymousely on the internet, with my kinky blogger friends.”

I am sure that made no sense. My point is I feel ya pain. And you are a great advocate, even (?) if mostly virtually.

Oh yeah and write about that other stuff. I always think people won’t want to read it on my blog, but I love reading it when other people write about it. {Thought about sex in the context of a life, which is totally inarticulable.}

By: alterisego

alterisego — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 17:23:22 +0000

The thing about the queer community/”lifestyle” is that it can be desexualized. That’s what’s getting it mainstream acceptance. People who might otherwise be homophobic often change their behavior when they are presented with a notion of LGBT people as people who create families and love each other just like straight people do… not when they are encouraged to consider how LGBT people might have sexual relationships.

That’s the problem with public acknowledgment of a BDSM lifestyle. It’s essentially impossible to divorce sex from BDSM, though god knows I’ve tried sometimes.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on teaching and writing. You’re an excellent writer and that makes for a good blog, regardless of the subject.

By: Maja

Maja — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 16:34:46 +0000

I think what rubs me the wrong way about the word “lifestyle” is… “style.” I don’t change my life like I change my hair or clothes. “Lifestyle,” to me, implies artificiality. I’d rather call kinky my life.

But then, of course, the avalanche: Is my life kinky if I don’t wear xxxxx? If I don’t make my partner xxxxx in public? If I blog under a pseudonym?

I guess it’s silly to reject a word over a technicality if my proposed substitution opens Pandora’s Box Of Irksome Perrennial Questions.