If I am repeatedly thinking about someone in a purely sexual way at the moment of orgasm, then I will accidentally condition myself to have a very pleasurably experience when I think of him in that limited light. How much more awesome would it be to be with him in person, as a fully faceted person, and being really present to the experience? (The answer, for me, is that it’s so awesome it’s worth waiting for.)

By that logic, will not the experience of being physically present with this hypothetical person during your orgasm be enough to counteract whatever conditioning you may have previously given yourself? Every human being is malleable in the way you describe. Only death stops us from changing in response to our experiences.

In other words, this sounds much more like avoidance behavior caused by fear than it sounds like behavior performed out of affirmative personal choice. And that, well…that could probably never work for me. How much more awesome would it be if you felt free and unafraid all the time, secure in the belief that when Mr. Right comes along, the mere fact that he’s Your Fully Faceted Mr. Right will be enough for you to improve your always-adaptable human experience as you see fit for yourself? The answer, for me, is that it’s much more awesome to believe in my own adaptable capabilities than to be afraid of my own desires.

“Perhaps God is evidently not as powerful as my fantasies.”

I’m confused how this follows from the ideas you expressed previously. Can you explain, please?

Oh, that’s just classic me with my God’s-got-nothing-on-me attitude. In my world view, I’m way more powerful than God can ever dream of being. ;) You can probably safely ignore it.

I can only speak for myself, and I know I tend to fall into habits in my thoughts and patterns of thinking, and if I’m not careful, I often come to believe what I think. I condition myself everyday. If I am repeatedly thinking about someone in a purely sexual way at the moment of orgasm, then I will accidentally condition myself to have a very pleasurably experience when I think of him in that limited light. How much more awesome would it be to be with him in person, as a fully faceted person, and being really present to the experience? (The answer, for me, is that it’s so awesome it’s worth waiting for.)

“Perhaps God is evidently not as powerful as my fantasies.”

I’m confused how this follows from the ideas you expressed previously. Can you explain, please?

the Catholic Church deems masturbation a sin because during masturbation one fantasizes about a person, and in that fantasy, the person is reduced to a one dimensional thing called sex, and from that place, we can’t view them as the full and wonderful person that God made him or her to be.

Not to be harsh, but to be blunt: even if that were true, so what?

Moreover, many of my fantasies that involve real people and especially those that involve people I know well such as my friends, are specifically fantasies that go beyond treating them as a purely sexual object (although there’s plenty of that, too) and therefore incorporate aspects of that individual’s personality.

Perhaps God is evidently not as powerful as my fantasies.

Thought: in youth group, I was told that the Catholic Church deems masturbation a sin because during masturbation one fantasizes about a person, and in that fantasy, the person is reduced to a one dimensional thing called sex, and from that place, we can’t view them as the full and wonderful person that God made him or her to be.
Granted, I had almost no personal experience with anything sexual at the time, so I just held onto that fact for later. But upon reflection (and experience), I really get what they’re saying and it makes a lot of sense to me. I’m not saying this is The Truth About Everyone, but my own fantasies never involve specific people, and I really dislike the thought of being involved in someone else’s fantasies.

Seriously though, I don’t think there’s a thing wrong with fantasizing about people you know, even if you never intend to actually do the deed with them.